Some poor old woman kept inappropriately touching my coworker as she had a Pretty Woman moment. She wore a silver bedazzled top and glittery panda rings on her sausage fingers. Dilated pupils and track marks told me she was suspicious. The woman fluttered erratically around the store as she tried on whatever caught her fancy: shiny fabrics and flowy materials. She offered to buy my colleague and then frowned when she told me she did not want to purchase me.